Hi y’all,

This past month has been a difficult one, for reasons both personal and obvious. Where last month found me with both the mental energy and desire to cultivate joy, this month has mostly left me simply stumbling upon it wherever I could, clinging to it for dear life so as not to lose it.

I saw a video a few weeks ago where someone compared living here right now to being on a roller coaster, going up the first big hill and looking ahead only to see the world’s richest man disassembling the tracks. This feels incredibly accurate. Of course there are some people cheering him on, and I can only assume that they haven’t yet realized that they are on the ride too. A friend recently related a conversation she’d had where she was expressing her concern about everything that’s happening, to which the other person replied, “yeah, it’s hard to know what to believe.” And all I could think was, No. It isn’t. It isn't the least bit difficult because I can see it with my own eyes. But then I felt immediately sad that we’re at a place where some people think that they can’t, or choose not to, believe what they’re seeing. It’s disheartening and nauseating and terrifying all at the same time.

One thing that’s kept me going though is all of you. After last month’s letter on grief and joy, so many of you reached out; you trusted me with the grief and fear and anxiety you’re feeling, and you shared with me your own joyful acts of resistance. And I was touched by these. I believe that participating in our collective grief is one of the greatest things we can do; it brings comfort to those we grieve with, and comforts us as well. And of course the wonderful thing about joy is that it will spread like wildfire if you let it; your moments of joy inspired me to continue seeking out my own, and sharing it where I could.

I appreciate this community so, so much; that each of you continues to read my words and share your own with me. Take care of yourselves. And I always love to hear from you, so write me back.

much love -

kg

WORTH SHARING

One of the newsletters that I get and very much enjoy is from writer and artist Naomi Ernest. She sent one recently that was so good, I wanted to share a link to the whole thing. But her letters aren’t saved anywhere that you can access them beyond your mailbox, so instead I’m sharing this little bit from it because it helped me, and maybe it will help you too:

“And then there are people like me. Beyond concern, beyond apprehension, beyond blind trust that things will simply turn out in the end. Unwilling to stay quiet because this is not normal, and this cannot be normalized. Unwilling to look away because that collective anxiety we feel when we read the news? It is telling us something important. That dread and creeping panic? We must listen to it. 
 
Our nervous system has designed an anxiety response precisely for moments like this.
 
If you feel anxiety, you are normal. You are not overreacting.
If you feel fear, you are normal. You are not overreacting.
If you feel depression, you are normal. You are not overreacting.
If you feel confusion, you are normal. You are not overreacting.
If you feel grief, you are normal. You are not overreacting.
If you feel anger, you are normal. You are not overreacting.
If you feel dread, you are normal. You are not overreacting.”

It truly is an excellent newsletter. You can sign up for future copies on her website, and if you’d like to have the full text of the one I shared from above let me know. I’m more than happy to forward it along.

AWAY / TOWARD

Right now I am leaning away from:

• Feeling the need to justify my boundaries and decisions; “No, thank you” can stand alone just fine

• Bending over backward to keep myself small, physically or otherwise

• Being complacent, or quiet

and leaning toward:

• Letting go of self-imposed rules, or at least occasionally breaking them on purpose

• Unsubscribing

• Buying the chocolate

• Looking for the moon more often, especially during the day which is maybe my favorite time to see it

CURRENT FAVORITES, A LIST WITH PICTURES

• The blooms that are suddenly everywhere and remind me of this lovely quote from Ella Frances Sanders’ most recent Sometimes Newsletter: “Green things beginning to make themselves known, all at once and insistently and cautiously and then on a Thursday afternoon you notice there are various tulips about to flower and the rhubarb is almost a foot high and isn’t everything just miracles anyway…”

• Hokusai’s The Great Wave that my boys gave me, which is made entirely of Lego and that I put together myself on a rainy Saturday morning.

• My beagle’s ears, which I have begun referring to as my emotional support ears. (Seriously, I think they’re made of velvet.)

• Small hands and fresh squeezed orange juice and gorgeous light during a road trip breakfast in a not-too-far-away town.

• More blooms, and more, and they never end thank goodness.

• Making a tiny green galaxy of matcha powder on top of my latte every morning. Odd perhaps, but it makes me smile (and these days I appreciate anything that does).

OTHER THINGS I’VE LOVED

• My boys and I occasionally have art days where we get out the big canvas drop cloth and our watercolor paints and we play, usually playing off ideas from Andrea Nelson. I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to watch her and not smile, even if you have no desire or intention to paint. And if you do have the desire and intention she posts tons of great short videos on her Instagram, but also has a Patreon page for more in-depth tutorials and offers classes through her website.

• I found this post from Dan Levy about creativity at a time when I really needed to see it. I know from conversations with a few of you that you could maybe use it too.

• Also in the realm of creativity, I found this article from Nautilus titled The Creative Nest: How Decorating Work Spaces Supports Art Making quite interesting (and relevant to more than just art making too!) If I’ve succeeded at one thing ever, I think it might be setting up my studio space. Every corner of it makes me happy, and when I sit in it I feel positively compelled to make something.

• “Don’t let your inability to do everything undermine your determination to do something.”

RECENTLY

LISTENING TO

I know I’ve mentioned M. Ward before; his brilliant album Think of Spring - a near track for track cover of Billie Holiday’s Lady in Satin - is a go-to for this time of year especially. But somehow in my excitement for that album I entirely missed Migration Stories, the other album he released the same year. Very chill and a just bit moody, it’s hitting the spot pretty perfectly right now.

READING IN

My oldest is reading The Little Prince again, this time for school, and I’m reading it alongside him because I will never pass up an opportunity to reread it.

CRUSHING ON

Koy Sun has become one of my favorite artists to follow on Instagram. His calm voice, stunning art, and compelling story make for a series of videos that I can watch over and over and always find inspiration in.

OBSESSED WITH

These Salted Dark Chocolate Olive Oil Cookies shared by The Mississippi Vegan are perfection. It may sound strange but I’m telling you, if you also love dark chocolate, make them. Your life will never be the same.

THINKING ABOUT

Recently, in an effort to forget that the world existed for a little while, we watched the documentary Inside the Mind of a Dog, and I think every one of us grinned ear to ear almost the entire time. (Except for Ollie the Beagle, who slept through it). If you want something to watch something that’s fun and heart-warming and absolutely fascinating, I can highly recommend it.

That’s all for this month. Thanks for being here!