A few years ago I discovered peonies blooming at an old historic site near our house in Virginia. I also discovered how stunning they looked in the late evening light, their pale blooms standing out beautifully against their dark emerald foliage. I made several walks over with a couple of different digital cameras and made (way too) many images. But I also had a roll of 20 year expired Tri-X in the Nikon, and so I decided to make a few photos on film as well. With the roll being so far past its date I had no idea at all what to expect, though I suspected a fair amount of grain would be involved.
Truth be told, I love a lot of grain… in other people’s work. But I’ve never really gotten comfortable with too much showing up in my own. I think it’s kind of like striped shirts. For the longest time I would be drawn to striped shirts, or bright(ish) colors or floral patterns. I’d see them on other girls and think it was all so snappy or feminine. But I’d put them on myself and they felt ridiculously out of place. They’re just not me. It took me a long time to accept it, but I eventually embraced my love of all things subtle and took to wearing a uniform of gray (I’m counting black and white here) and denim. Last year I branched out and bought a sweater that was olive green. It’s seriously the most colorful thing in my closet. But I think there’s something to be said for knowing yourself and accepting yourself exactly as you are. It’s liberating to feel like you don’t have to be someone else.
All of that said though, even with all of the grain in these I actually really love the way they turned out. The place they were photographed is haunted by all sorts of stories since before the civil war, and I think the images pay tribute to its complicated history. It’s fitting.
The image above was by far my favorite; I spent forever framing this group of peonies exactly the way I wanted. The air had been completely still all evening, right up until the exact moment I released the shutter and the blooms began to dance in the breeze. I knew when it happened the image would be a blur, but had no idea just how beautiful it would turn out.